No Really, How Are You?
When people ask “how are you?” responses are generally along the lines of “good”, “fine” or “I’m not bad thanks”. While sometimes this may be an accurate answer, in many cases it is actually not a true reflection of how you are feeling.Why is it that we cannot simply say “I’m actually not fine”. Is it that we don’t want to bore the other person with the details of our life? Is it that we are afraid they will turn and run if we are too honest with them? If this is the case, what made us become too afraid of what people think of us? And for what reason do we assume that people just don’t care enough to want to hear all the details? And is this the case? Are we too consumed with our own lives to actually want a true response when we ask someone how they are? Are we afraid to reveal our true feelings thoughts, personality etc?!
I am in no way trying to be negative or cynical here! They are simply some observations I have made about life.
These thoughts were further inspired by the thoughts of two fellow bloggers.
One posed the question: Do you feel like you are really "known"? Do you put a mask up to those around you?
The other said that one may be inclined to follow the philosophy that if you “Wear your smile well and you don’t have to worry about explaining things to people.”
While not revealing all of who we are is natural in life – either just as a defence mechanism or because it is impossible to reveal all parts of us at once – there remains the question as to whether we need to be more open with those around us. Or at least feel like we can?
I recently saw Must Love Dogs. A good ol' John Cusack romantic comedy. On the first date Cusack says he wants to get everything out on the table right from the beginning. In many ways his honesty and his desire for honesty is scary. But in many ways it also makes me wonder why not be that honest? Now, there is a definite risk in putting yourself out there, especially on a first date. Lets not try to scare away every potential partner immediately! Not the ideal result. Alternatively, the person is ideally going to find out most things about you in the long run so why not get it all out there to start with? After all, you do want to know the person don’t you? So do you weigh up the risk and choose to put that mask up for security? Or do you try to reveal your ‘true’ self?
Ok, so that is a date situation and I’m not only talking about that sort of relationship.
What about with our brothers and sisters in Christ? Those we talk to every single week at church. Is there a common inclination to mask our true feelings even with these people, the ones who are meant to share our every joy and sorrow? Those who can encourage and pray for you.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense to you. Let me know if it does!
I may just be rambling on.
But that’s ok, this is my blog, so these are my thoughts.
Of course I am not saying that you need to share every little detail with every single person who asks how you are! That would just be, well, awkward!
But I want to challenge you to not be afraid to reveal yourself to those who love you. Next time you’ve had a bad day and a friend asks how you are, do not be tempted to put up a mask, tell them the way it is. Hopefully they too will tell you what’s on their heart or mind.
Life is meant to be shared. We are in it together.
2 Comments:
amen sister!
i hate to quote ben lee - but he's right! - "we're all in this together"
...the next line in that song goes "I started smiling, cos you were smiling - and we're all in this together"...
i've just finished smiling all day at work...because it's the only thing that keeps me sane (yes - the freaking jewish news HAS gone up 45 cents! - you hear me chels!!!!haha) I'm glad God gave us smiles...
i think that one of the key signs of a true friend is that you can tell them honestly how heinous your bad day was and they respond to it just as eagerly and with just as much genuine interest to it as if you had smiled and said "every thing is peachy keen". gold. gold. pure gold. I'ld love to be a friend like that.
hey pappy! yeah i totally get what you're saying - i defintaely meant it as a priviledge too! You're right, one of the great things is constantly finding more out - what i'm refering to is whether people let you find out - if that makes sense?!
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